How to Negotiate a Fair Allocation Judgment (i.e., Parenting Plan)

Are you trying to find a way to have a positive co-parenting relationship with the other parent of your child? The first step, in most instances, is to come up with a workable parenting plan for you both to follow. In Illinois, a formal parenting plan, entered in a court and enforced by a Judge, is called an Allocation Judgment. There are two major categories of rights allocated in an Allocation Judgment: 1) decision-making rights over education, healthcare, extracurricular activities, and religion, and 2) parenting time.

Deciding to put together a parenting plan is a big step and can cause tension between parents. Here are some tips for how to maneuver your parenting plan discussion in a way that makes it easier to come to an agreement, or at least make progress.

1. Start with the Status Quo

If your child is already born, and co-parenting is going well, then much of your parenting plan is just putting into writing what you’re already doing. This might seem like a pointless task right now, but if things change in the future (i.e., one parent gets sick, or gets a job in another state, etc.) a good parenting plan can provide certainty in otherwise uncertain times.

Even if co-parenting isn’t going well, take a step back and figure out what part of the status quo is working, and what part of it needs to be changed.

2. Save the Money for Last

Child support is a thorny subject. If it’s the first thing you bring up when trying to figure out parenting obligations, it’s likely to set you back. Plus, child support obligations ultimately come down to a calculation. Once you’ve figured out the other parts of your parenting plan, the financial requirements will more easily fall into place.

3. Don’t Start from Scratch

You’re not the first person to put together a parenting plan, and there are lot of things you may not have even thought of that you want covered in your agreement. You can find a standard Allocation Judgment allocated equal parenting time and joint decision-making to each parent on this website! When you sit down with the other parent to discuss parenting obligations, have a sample plan set out to provide structure to your discussion.

4. Break Up the Issues

This tip goes hand in hand with tip #2 and #3. It’s difficult to resolve a conflict when all the disputed issues are bundled into one big tangled mess. Break up your parenting plan issues so each dispute is more manageable.

When doing this, keep in mind that there’s really no such thing as “custody” anymore. Illinois law now divides “custody” into two parts, “allocation of parental responsibilities” and “parenting time.”

Allocation of parental responsibilities includes four decision-making categories, 1) school/education, 2) extracurricular activities, 3) medical, and 4) religion. Start with education. Can you agree to keep your child in his/her current school? For medical, can you agree to keep you child with his/her current pediatrician and, if needed, therapists? Take it one issue at a time. Even if your relationship with the other parent is hostile and you can't stand each other, you might be surprised at your ability to agree on these straightforward issues.

Parenting time is often broken up into 1) regular parenting time, 2) holiday parenting time, 3) vacation parenting time and 4) summer parenting time. Unless there are serious safety issues, courts will generally grant each parent alternating holidays and vacation time with the child. For regular parenting time, there a lots of different regular parenting time schedules. The website, Custody X Change, is a good resource for breaking down all the options.

5. Don’t be Petty

There are 365 days in a year. That’s a lot of time to allocate to each parent. Because of this, there’s no need to fight over an hour here or an hour there, and if you do start fighting over hours and even minutes, your disputes could be endless.

6. Make Room for Flexibility

Nobody is perfect. One parent might be late to a pick-up/drop-off. One parent might forget to pick up the phone for the evening FaceTime call with the kids. Issues like these should be expected, and therefore your parenting plan should take them into consideration. Add a provision to your agreement that addresses what happens when one party is late, or one party misses a call or a message.

Life isn’t always predictable either. If one parent has an inconsistent work schedule, parents can agree in their parenting plan to revisit the schedule periodically to determine each parent’s availability and the best way to allocate parenting time. Parenting time days could be for set days each week, but subject to change if one parent has unexpected work obligations. 

7. Be Practical

This is the companion to #1, starting with the status quo. It’s important to recognize your own limitations when asking for parenting time. If you work a 60 hour per week job, the reality is that you may not have the time to be the primary custodial parent (i.e., have the majority of Monday-Friday parenting time). If you still fight to take Monday-Friday parenting time away from the other parent in that situation, you might just be adding to your own daycare bill. Keep in mind, courts are often going to prioritize a biological parent’s parenting time over grandparent time or daycare.

Therefore, each parent, before offering what they want in the parenting plan, should look at their own schedule and current responsibilities and figure out the parenting obligations they are realistically able to meet.